Farewell Ricardo the Magnificent

Roxi made this beautiful compilation of images and music.
The song is the one that her Dad Richard used to sing to her to send her off to sleep and the one she sang to him to send him on his next adventure.

Richard Ludbrook Ave atque vale

Our Darling Richard passed away last night at 9.30 at the Norfolk and Norwich Hospital with Roxi and I by his side. I knew it would be hard but I don't think I realised he really would never be coming home again. Here are some beautiful words from a suprising source.
"We can never lose anything that is good, never lose love or the memories of great happiness because they are true. I've come to the conclusion that only the eternal is real! And that means qualities that one loves in people - their humour, generosity, honour, kindness, gentleness etc are the reality: and can never die. They are the identity of the one one loves." Joyce Grenfell.
All my love to you my darlings reading this.
Joey x

Sublime-ness and sadness

I wrote this to my friend Margaret last night at about 8.30 "I'm sitting on the bed with the computer on my lap listening to youtube clips of Ryuichi Sakamoto waiting to see how Ricardo fairs as he sits on the trunk at the end of the bed with a bowl at his feet to be sick into if he needs to. From the sublime to the ridiculous. We have however had a good day with breakfast and lunch staying down and a visit from the blessed Macmillan nurse Louise."....after I wrote that though things changed rapidly as they are wont to do at the moment. Richard took a few steps, reached the bathroom basin and threw up his entire days worth of meals as well as all the medication I had just managed to give him. Welcome to our lives at the moment.
Each day is governed by how much food I can get into him and each day it's a tiny amount. It's hell for a cook like me. I must have been an Italian Mumma in a past life. It fills me with joy when I see him eating a bowlful of something and despair when he shakes his head slowly at the table.
In other news to hand...Roxi is still here with us and each day I thank God for her presence. Home is a much nicer place with company and she is very good company indeed. She has improved life around here no end. She's a natural organizer and as tenacious as a terrier when it comes to getting a good deal! We have a pill tower (that miraculously refills itself without me having to do anything) and a new vacuum cleaner bought at a ridiculously low price on ebay.

I was having a sad moment at the kitchen stove before and wondered when I had ever been happy. I was looking through old photos with Richard at the dining table after that and found this lovely happy, snowy video that reminded me how happy I had been once. It will interest those of you who have been here lately and can not imagine how it would be here in the snow.

Janie & Peter

Well we've said hello and goodbye to another lovely pair of friends. This time Janie and Peter Conway-Herron. Janie is a senior lecturer in creative writing at Southern Cross University in Australia. She's a writer too and the last time we saw them was in 2004 when she and Pete were traveling and researching her recent book Beneath the Grace of Clouds.
They have left East Harling now to continue their travels in Shetland to research the next book.

Janie has known Richard since 1965 when they both worked at The Pram factory in Carlton. Janie's brothers were the infamous Mick and Jim Conway of Captain Matchbox Whoopee Band fame. Richard played in the band with them. Here are a couple of videos, you may be able to spot Ricardo the Magnificent in the first one...

This second one is of the band before Richard joined but as I knew them when I'd go and see them at various dives around Melbourne. They were our favourite band.

It was at Mic Conway's National Junk Band's CD launch that I met Richard in 2002 and when I discovered he'd been in Captain Matchbox and sung the song "If I can't have Anna in Cuba, I think I'll see Esther in Spain", I was in love. Here they are singing "The land of Oz".

Better today

Dear Blogreaders,
Things are a bit better today. I'm so sorry for the last depressing post. I think I just got sick of everyone asking me if Richard is alright when actually he's not. Sometimes it weighs heavily to have to keep everyone else up at the same time as me.
There are still good things happening here in our lives, like Liz Boorn-Hall who came to visit and made the best Moussaka known to man as well as the best plum cake.
and the ever cheerful Zebedee
with his best buddy Yusuf....
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Joey

Do not read if worried..

This is a not very positive blog post...
You are warned not to read if you are prone to worrying about things that you can't do anything about.
Richard has been in hospital overnight to be drained.....this time 5.5 litres. It ABSOLUTELY exhausts him (and me too really). He can hardly walk or talk at the moment and just threw up his lunch, complete with pain killers and anti biotics.....back to square one. I wouldn't wish this slow and painful death on anyone. Sorry to not beat about the bush but....I don't know what else to say.
I still have Roxi here and I also have a friend Liz here from France.